In numerous training articles and materials, I’ve mentioned a little book with profound advice. This book is titled The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.
In the beginning of his book, Don Miguel says that we didn’t get to choose our beliefs, but that they were handed down to us from our ancestors, who learned these beliefs from their ancestors. Then our ancestors passed that information, whether right or wrong, on to us on how to live and how to dream (he calls this our “domestication”).
But when that information is faulty, how can we change it? Don Miguel gives us the solution to this dilemma when he covers the four agreements that can move our attitudes in a more positive direction. Below are four ways that recruiters can do just that:
#1—Speak with integrity, take responsibility for your actions, and don’t judge.
Every client and candidate is looking for an honest recruiter. I don’t know one big biller whose success is based on telling fibs. They are all “straight arrows” and their clients and candidates respect their integrity. As my favorite CFO once told me, “If you treat people with honesty, that honesty will be returned to you. And if you treat people like crooks, they will start acting like crooks.”
#2—Don’t take anything personally and become immune to the opinions of others.
The big billers don’t read their press clippings and don’t rely on others to establish their sense of worth. They know that they are great producers and simply act that way. They always say, “I never take rejection personally. It’s simply a refusal to do business with me at any given point in time, and I can live with that.”
#3—Don’t make assumptions, always ask questions, and communicate clearly.
Big billers ask a ton of questions and learn from the answers they receive. They always ask one question at a time (“unbundling”) and wait for the answer before asking their next question. They know that the person asking the questions always controls the conversation. And they practice the technique of Rudyard Kipling who, when asked how he became such a great writer, said, “I had six guides that taught me everything I knew. They were ‘what’ and ‘when’ and ‘where’ and ‘how’ and ‘why’ and ‘who.'”
#4—Always do your best and avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
In the words of one of my favorite people to quote, Anonymous, “Successful people aren’t born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don’t like to do. The successful people don’t always like these things themselves; they just get on and do them.” Always do your best, and you will end your journey with no regrets.
It is my belief that if you make these four agreements and blend them with sources of enthusiasm and self-confidence, then you can’t help but attain and own the right attitude forever.
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Bob Marshall of TBMG International, founder of The Marshall Plan, has an extensive background in the recruiting industry as a recruiter, manager, vice president, president, consultant, and trainer. In 2015, Marshall is celebrating his 35th year in the recruiting business. He can be reached at bob@themarshallplan.org or at 770.898.5550. Marshall’s website is www.themarshallplan.org.