Are your teams burned out or are you? Are you feeling like you are always fighting fires or dealing with team, candidate, or client conflict?
Constant conflict drains our energy and sabotages our efforts as a recruiter. In any relationship, there is a big difference between being assertive to establish respect, trust, and successful collaboration and being aggressive, defensive, or hostile because of perceived threats or differences.
Even if you are one of the lucky ones that has a cohesive team or client relationship, learning to tap into emotional intelligence (EI) can make a dramatic difference to our success and positively impact every area of our lives for better success, more income, and better relationships. Recruiters with high EI make on average at least 30K more each year, and it can be substantially more.
Emotional intelligence helps us in so many ways, including the following:
1. Your performance at work
Emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging job candidates, many companies now view emotional intelligence as being as important as technical ability and require EI testing before hiring.
2. Your physical health
If you’re unable to manage your stress levels, it can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to relieve stress.
3. Your mental health
Uncontrolled stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand and manage your emotions, you’ll also be open to mood swings, while an inability to form strong relationships can leave you feeling lonely and isolated.
4. Your relationships
By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.
Before I get ahead of myself, you might wonder what exactly emotional intelligence is. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
Emotional intelligence impacts many different aspects of your daily life, such as the way you behave and the way you interact with others. Unlike the intelligent quotient (IQ), which focuses on hard skills and technical abilities, EI focuses on the soft skills that can be improved with conscious effort and practice.
So how can you improve emotional intelligence for more success in your work as a recruiter and in your life?
Below are five ways to become a master communicator as a recruiter by using emotional intelligence. Remember: it’s easy to practice in neutral situations, but stress can hijack our best intentions, so give yourself time to make genuine and lasting progress.
1. Practice observing your emotions.
Label your emotions and work to understand your triggers for “hot” emotions so you can teach yourself to better manage your emotions for better relationships.
2. Practice recognizing subtle cues on others.
Remember that body language, gestures, and other forms on non-verbal communication account for more than 55% of communication between people and the actual words account for a mere 7%. This will help you to better understand others’ emotions and intentions.
3. Work to reduce your stress.
You do this so you can respond positively in tense situations instead of reacting negatively. When faced with adversity, optimistic people ask “What is good about this? Where is the lesson that is going to serve me well when I go after the next big opportunity?”
4. Improve your listening skills.
If you’re planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation. Try to practice empathizing with others when you speak to them and work to understand where they are coming from in any conversation, so you can aim for a win-win in discussions and negotiations.
5. List the qualities you admire most in a mentor.
Notice how many are soft skills are associated with EI. Now, work to improve those qualities in yourself. For example, if you admire someone’s honesty, make an effort to be more honest, both with yourself and with others. Or if you admire someone’s sense of humor, practice being funnier and lighter with others!
Improving EI skills is a powerful way to become a better recruiter and leader and build better relationships in all areas of your life. When you improve your EI, you improve your resilience, optimism, and relationships . . . so it’s worth the investment of time!
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” —Dan Goleman
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Patricia Conlin, guest writer for the Top Echelon Recruiter Training Blog, is a successful business owner, recruiter, and coach for health and success. She’s built a respected recruitment firm and uses over 20 years of success strategies in her coaching of individuals and teams. A passion for health and personal development led her to international public speaking and coaching, where she helps others achieve their highest potential. Conlin is a registered nutritionist, black belt martial artist, and a Certified Emotional Intelligence (EI) Coach. She is also the author of ABCs of Food: Boost Your Energy, Confidence, and Success with the Power of Nutrition. Visit Conlin’s website, ABCs Health 2 Success, where you can download a free excerpt of her book on happiness, sign up for health and success tips, and see what programs may boost your energy and confidence and build winning client relationships.